When Christmas Is Harder Than It Looks - Self-Care for the holidays

For many people, Christmas is meant to feel joyful. But for a lot of us, the Christmas and holiday period can actually feel heavier.

If you’re finding this time of year hard, there’s nothing wrong with you. Christmas has a way of turning the volume up on whatever we’re already carrying.

Why this time of year can be tough on mental health

The end of the year brings a mix of pressures that don’t always get talked about.

There’s the expectation to be happy.

The idea that this should be the best time of the year can make it even harder when it doesn’t feel that way. When our reality doesn’t match the picture we’re shown, people often feel guilt, shame, or like they’re “doing Christmas wrong”.

There’s also loneliness. Even when you’re surrounded by people, Christmas can highlight who isn’t there. Family estrangement, relationship breakdowns, living far from loved ones, or feeling like you don’t quite fit can all feel sharper during this season.

For many, there’s grief. Loss doesn’t pause for public holidays. Christmas can bring memories of people who are no longer here, or remind us of how life used to be. That can be painful, even years later.

Then there’s financial stress. Extra costs, shutdown periods, or reduced work hours can add

anxiety at a time when spending pressure is high.

And for some people, routines fall away. Sleep changes. Support services close or reduce hours. Alcohol is everywhere. For people managing anxiety,

depression, trauma, or recovery, these changes can make things feel unsteady.

You don’t have to explain why you’re struggling

One of the hardest parts of this season is feeling like you need to justify your feelings.

Comments like:

• “But you have so much to be grateful for”

• “It’s only once a year”

• “Everyone feels stressed at Christmas”

…are often well-intentioned, but they can shut people down.

You don’t need a “good enough” reason to feel the way you do.

Struggling doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, negative, or weak. It usually means you’re human in a season that asks a lot emotionally.

Doing Christmas differently is allowed

Here we often talk about choice and capacity. It applies just as much at Christmas.

You are allowed to:

• Say no to events that drain you

• Leave early or arrive late

• Keep plans simple

• Start new traditions or let old ones go

• Spend time alone if that’s what feels safest

• Ask for help, or decide today isn’t the day

There is no single “right” way to do Christmas.

Protecting your mental health isn’t selfish. It’s responsible.

Small things that can help

You don’t need to overhaul your life or “fix” everything to get through this time.

Some gentle supports that many people find helpful include:

• Keeping a few anchors. Regular meals, some movement, and sleep where possible can help your nervous system feel steadier.

• Staying connected in low-pressure ways. A message, a short walk with someone you trust, or an online check-in can be enough. Connection doesn’t have to be loud or long.

• Reducing alcohol if you can. Alcohol can intensify low mood and anxiety, even if it feels like a short-term relief.

• Giving yourself permission to feel mixed emotions. You can feel grateful and sad. Relieved and lonely. Hopeful and exhausted. None of that is wrong.

If things feel overwhelming

If this season brings up more than you expected, support is available — even during the holidays.

You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out.

Talking to someone you trust, a support line, or a mental health professional can make a real difference. Having those options written down before you need them can help too.

If you’re in Australia, 24/7 support is available through services like Lifeline, Beyond Blue, and other online or phone-based supports.

Reaching out isn’t a failure. It’s a sign you’re paying attention to yourself.

If Christmas feels hard this year, you’re not alone — even if it feels that way.

You’re not broken. You’re not doing life wrong. And you don’t need to force yourself to feel anything you don’t.

At Our Minds at Work, we believe mental health is about meeting people where they are — especially during seasons that ask a lot of us.

However this time of year looks for you, you’re allowed to do it in a way that keeps you safe. And that is more than enough.